ic inbox -- cerealia

[unluckless]

This is Nagito Komaeda. Please leave me a message!



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[particularity]

[Hinata turns his head slightly into the nuzzling, his sigh brushing to Komaeda's ear. His hand comes up, sliding along Komaeda's cheek that he can't see from this angle, up into his hair, fingers ruffling lightly.]

I won't. But... you still don't have to take my word for it. All you gotta do is watch, and see for yourself.

[He closes his eyes, exhaling softly.]

[unluckless]

I'll watch. Because I have to. Because I have to watch myself too. I know what we are, what we've done. I have to watch. But it's strange, really. But now I want to watch too. Because I want to see. It's exciting somehow. [thrilling and frightening and often overwhelming. Sometimes he considers that just placing all his faith in hope was easier, more certain. But that's not quite right. It all became a mess, and this, uncertain and challenging and overwhelming as it is to believe in Hinata and the others and hardest of all himself, it's the better road. There's more hope in it somehow, even if it's a different sort.

His eyes fall shut and he doesn't move away from where he's tucked his face, even as those fingers run through his hair.] It's warmer too. [Existing in this way, allowing himself to be close to someone, to be a part of it instead of a stepping stone along someone else's path.]

[particularity]

[Hinata hums, smiling, his fingers stroking the nape of Komaeda's neck tenderly.] Maybe that's because... even if you're watching me, and yourself, we're still going forward together.

It's part of your future too.

[He hugs him around the neck, then relaxes his hold, going back to petting him.]

[unluckless]

[Komaeda smiles as he's hugged, eyes shut, just enjoying the closeness and security of the moment. He doesn't speak the darker thoughts that come to mind, that come to mind so often and get pushed away as quickly and completely as he can: that he doesn't know what future he really has. It's remarkable in a way that he's still here -- a stroke of luck that the disease inside him hasn't taken hold more strongly. It's always been frightening to think about Ina way, but it's more so now, when he really actually wants a future, wants to live on.

But thinking about it is too much sometimes. So instead he tries to put it aside, appreciate the moment.] Mm! Together with Hajime. And the others too.

[particularity]

[Hinata answers with a nod, a slight rub of his head against Komaeda's, his eyes closed. His fingers stroke over skin and through hair still, though even that starts to slow. He's getting sleepy... He shouldn't sleep, when they're still talking.

But it's comfortable and safe with Komaeda.] That's right.. With me, and everyone else. [His voice belies his sleepiness in its softness, the slow way the words drag out.]

[unluckless]

[It's fine if Hinata sleeps. Komaeda worries about him working too hard all the time anyway, so getting the chance to relax together, and for Hinata to be relaxed enough to doze off, that feels like success to him. And the fact that he's being held and petted, those are extra bonus successes are what those are.]

I'm glad... I want to see it. I hope I can. [Itll be something. But for now, napping is something too.]

[particularity]

Mm. I want you to see it too. I want to show you...

[He wants to show him so much, wants them to be together to see the future, these thoughts swarm into his mind. One after another, but he finds his exhaustion winning out, his hand flexing in Komaeda's hair as his breathing deepens.]

[unluckless]

[Komaeda falls quiet now, hearing that sleepiness in Hinata's voice and not wanting to disturb him or keep him awake. Instead he slides his hand up along Hinata's side softly, gently. Sleep Hinata. Komaeda will rise eventually. By for a while he'll be content to be awake and enjoy the warmth, listening to the sound of his breathing.]