unluckless | ic inbox -- cerealia

[It would take pretty impressive combinations of effort and product but it totally could be done. And now it's in Komaeda's head that he wants to try it to see what Hinata thinks about it. ...what? Sometimes he likes dressing up for his boyfriend.]

It might be. I think I'll have to try it. Though I can't really say how it will come out.

[Could be a total disaster. Could be amazing. Depends which way his luck is blowing.]

[Hinata chuckles.] If it comes out bad... we'll just laugh about it together. [It'll be fun, or something like that. He pulls him down closer, to snuggle that body further down against his, his palms combing through that hair of his that isn't pulled back.]

I'll help you with it. Too bad we can't really do anything with my hair, huh?

Ah... somehow that sounds nice even if it ends in failure then. How strange.

[He's so good at failure, but it's never been terribly enjoyable. But laughing about it together with Hinata sounds great actually. So he smiles now, nodding, eager now, even as he snuggles up against him.]

With Hajime's help, I'm sure it'll turn out anyway.

[He lifts a hand to run through Hinata's hair, mussing it up as he hums thoughtfully.] Maybe a little bow. [On his ahoge. Fool proof!]

...I think that I'll have to pass on the bow.

[JUST SAYING. That'd be too silly for him, and with his ahoge. He does like feeling Komaeda's hand going through his hair, though, so gladly tips his head into it with an encouraging hum.

Pls keep petting, yes.]

Oh? Too bad. It would be pretty fancy on you.

[He'll stop teasing about bows though. Because he has noticed the way Hinata tips his head, and it has him all too happy to keep it up, to run his fingers through that hair again and again. He likes the way it feels anyway, with soft strands slipping through his fingers.

He likes having the excuse to touch him for whatever reason it is.] But maybe Hajime looking like Hajime is best after all. Mm. I'm sure that's right.

If I get a bow, then you get one. Or a bunch. For each bunch of hair.

[Hinata looks at him playfully, tugging at some of his hair lightly with his fingers. Though, his cheeks do redden at the words. Compliment... He's being complimented. And his head lolls back, chest heaving with a soft sigh.

And he says, pensive,] You really like how I look, huh? [It's kind of a rhetorical question, but still a question. He's so plain, Komaeda!!]

That might be too many bows.

[Oh hey his hair! Tugging on it. IT's attached you know? Except it's attention, and Komaeda is far too happy with any attention from Hinata, and the tugging is light and playful and actually feels quite nice. So he won't even fuss.

Besides, he's distracted by that question.

He blinks and lifts his head to look at Hinata with a genuinely perplexed look on his face.] Hajime? Do you really not know? You're really gorgeous. [Komaeda thinks so! Knows so!]

[Hinata is looking back with just as much of a perplexed face, blinking at him. His cheeks slowly colour as Komaeda calls him gorgeous, of all things, and his gaze (same colour as his cheeks now) drops to the side.]

You, er... I'm... am I?

[It sounds like such a feeble, shy question...]

[All this blushing. An embarrassment of riches really. Komaeda smiles to himself, expression soft, nearly painfully full of affection. He settles a hand against Hinata's cheek, thumb tracing along his cheekbone.]

Of course you are. I'm surprised you didn't realize it.

[Though his brow furrows now and he adds, thoughtfully, playfully.] Though now that I've told you, I wonder if I've made a serious mistake.a [Has he created a monster?]

[Hinata's eyelids flutter slightly, his head turning slightly into the slide of Komaeda's warm thumb...] Serious mistake? [He blinks open his eyes proper, peering (a bit embarrassed still) at Komaeda.]

Do I seem that egotistical?

[He slides his hands down to his sides, fingers wriggling veeery slightly.]

Wellll....

[Komaeda hedges, but there's a giggle in his voice half because he is teasing and those fingers are on the verge of ticklish, and he squirms now.] Actually, you could probably get away with having a little more ego than you do. After all, even I've decided you're pretty amazing by now.

[Despite everything. His boyfriend is somehow a good person who keeps trying to be better and considering what he's come through, that's made it all the more remarkable.]

[Hinata's lips twitch in a telling giveaway-- but no, he is strong! He won't start grinning like an idiot! Probably! Okay, he's getting awfully close, but he's drawing a breath and leaning up close to kiss one corner of his lips, then the other.]

That's... pretty big, coming from you, Nagito.

[He seems shy, grateful... a lot of things.]

[Komaeda can tell that grin is in there anyway, Hinata. Don't go and pretend otherwise. But Komaeda's expression softens into a smile, and he nods. It is big coming from him.]

Mm... it is, I think. I'm still paying attention you know, but...

[He leans in and nuzzles against Hinata's cheek, half to hide his own expression now.] I think... I think you won't let me down. [He really believes that. A lot.]

[Hinata turns his head slightly into the nuzzling, his sigh brushing to Komaeda's ear. His hand comes up, sliding along Komaeda's cheek that he can't see from this angle, up into his hair, fingers ruffling lightly.]

I won't. But... you still don't have to take my word for it. All you gotta do is watch, and see for yourself.

[He closes his eyes, exhaling softly.]

I'll watch. Because I have to. Because I have to watch myself too. I know what we are, what we've done. I have to watch. But it's strange, really. But now I want to watch too. Because I want to see. It's exciting somehow. [thrilling and frightening and often overwhelming. Sometimes he considers that just placing all his faith in hope was easier, more certain. But that's not quite right. It all became a mess, and this, uncertain and challenging and overwhelming as it is to believe in Hinata and the others and hardest of all himself, it's the better road. There's more hope in it somehow, even if it's a different sort.

His eyes fall shut and he doesn't move away from where he's tucked his face, even as those fingers run through his hair.] It's warmer too. [Existing in this way, allowing himself to be close to someone, to be a part of it instead of a stepping stone along someone else's path.]

[Hinata hums, smiling, his fingers stroking the nape of Komaeda's neck tenderly.] Maybe that's because... even if you're watching me, and yourself, we're still going forward together.

It's part of your future too.

[He hugs him around the neck, then relaxes his hold, going back to petting him.]

[Komaeda smiles as he's hugged, eyes shut, just enjoying the closeness and security of the moment. He doesn't speak the darker thoughts that come to mind, that come to mind so often and get pushed away as quickly and completely as he can: that he doesn't know what future he really has. It's remarkable in a way that he's still here -- a stroke of luck that the disease inside him hasn't taken hold more strongly. It's always been frightening to think about Ina way, but it's more so now, when he really actually wants a future, wants to live on.

But thinking about it is too much sometimes. So instead he tries to put it aside, appreciate the moment.] Mm! Together with Hajime. And the others too.

[Hinata answers with a nod, a slight rub of his head against Komaeda's, his eyes closed. His fingers stroke over skin and through hair still, though even that starts to slow. He's getting sleepy... He shouldn't sleep, when they're still talking.

But it's comfortable and safe with Komaeda.] That's right.. With me, and everyone else. [His voice belies his sleepiness in its softness, the slow way the words drag out.]

[It's fine if Hinata sleeps. Komaeda worries about him working too hard all the time anyway, so getting the chance to relax together, and for Hinata to be relaxed enough to doze off, that feels like success to him. And the fact that he's being held and petted, those are extra bonus successes are what those are.]

I'm glad... I want to see it. I hope I can. [Itll be something. But for now, napping is something too.]

Mm. I want you to see it too. I want to show you...

[He wants to show him so much, wants them to be together to see the future, these thoughts swarm into his mind. One after another, but he finds his exhaustion winning out, his hand flexing in Komaeda's hair as his breathing deepens.]

[Komaeda falls quiet now, hearing that sleepiness in Hinata's voice and not wanting to disturb him or keep him awake. Instead he slides his hand up along Hinata's side softly, gently. Sleep Hinata. Komaeda will rise eventually. By for a while he'll be content to be awake and enjoy the warmth, listening to the sound of his breathing.]

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