unluckless | ic inbox -- cerealia

[Hinata goes still and quiet as Komaeda speaks, his fingers flexing and loosening in his shirt, almost kneading in it. His mind keeps churning, they can see, they can hear, it's been a while since he's had a feeling like he's stuck under someone's thumb. That powerless feeling he thought he'd gotten used to, in Haven.

He shifts his body slightly, moving, his chin lifting as Komaeda settles in so close against him and nuzzles him. His hand drags along his back slowly, away from clutching around his neck and shoulders.

A slow blink, a couple of moments as he processes.]

... Mm. [His voice drops in a thin murmur, acknowledgement, as he turns his lips into Komaeda's cheek.] Yeah. Sorry. [In the end, it's not things like telling him that it's okay or that it'll be fine that reassures him, but that reminder he's not alone and that they already knew this place wasn't what it seemed...

There's a sense of heaviness, realisation, a thought of Haven affected me more than I thought.]

I guess I was... panicking a bit.

[Komaeda touches a kiss to Hinata's cheek lightly in return, reflexively, trying to reassure somehow, or maybe he's just comforting himself. Maybe he's being selfish, but right now he just wants to hold him, to keep Hinata safe in his arms right now.]

To be honest... I was panicking a bit too.

[When Hinata was brought back unconscious, when he woke up so shaken, so scared, and well. He's setting in now. Because they can do this. Whatever it is that's in front of them, they've made it through so much.]

It's hard not to. After everything that's happened, it's hard not to worry that the worst is definitely on its way.

Edited 2015-07-07 01:08 (UTC)

[Hinata exhales at the kiss, leaning his forehead forward against Komaeda's collarbone. His other eye closes, and like this he can live in an illusion that both of his eyes are shut, that's why everything is black, and he wishes he could see properly next time he opened his eyes.

His hand still grips at his back.]

I thought I was ready, for this place to be like Haven. Or worse. Yao always had the upper hand over us, always, but I figured here maybe it could be the opposite.

Nagito... You'll still go against them with me, won't you?

[There. Just like this, Komaeda can hold him and for the moment at least be assured that Hinata is here and safe. And even if one of his eyes is currently blind, they can manage this. They can handle it.

His arms still wind tightly around Hinata, holding him close now.]

I'll stand with you against anything, Hajime. I promise. Whatever I can do. [Someone like him with no talents... but he'll be there doing whatever is in his power and trying not to mess it up.]

You're... the only one who's been with me through everything.

[Hinata's voice is faint, but it's clear from how easily the words leave him that this isn't the first time that he's thought about this.] If you're here, then I feel like I'll be all right.

It's not like I'm not relieved that I get to be with the others again, but.

[His hand clenches briefly in the back of Komaeda's shirt, his head turning so he can hear the solid thump of his heart under his ear, the warmth of his body.] I think, sometimes, I must've changed more than I thought, from how I used to be. I'm still myself, but I'm different.

Edited 2015-07-08 14:04 (UTC)

[Komaeda is silent for a long moment; somehow every word he might say flees straight out of his grasp all at once. Does Hinata realize what he just said? It's... does it really matter to Hinata that much that he's with him? His chest feels warm, hot really, and it aches all at once.

And he wants to say he'll always be with him, and oh more than ever before he wants to always be with him. He's never wanted to live more than he does just now -- and the thoughts he tries not to think about he has to forcibly push back as he tightens his arms around him and nods.] I'm here, Hajime. And I'll always stay by your side. We'll both be all right, like that.

[A pause though and he smiles at what Hinata says less.] You have. You're very different, but it's not a bad thing. You're still Hajime, but you've been through a lot... and you've made it through. I'm really proud of you, you know.

[Hinata's arms tighten in turn, briefly. He knows... he knows a lot of things, about going back, potentially forgetting as much as there is a chance of remembering. And then there's dealing with everyone still stuck in a coma...

For now, Komaeda's all right.]

...Thanks, [quietly.] I don't think I've said it enough, but I'm proud of you, too. I'm glad, that you've done and keep doing your best, and that you stuck with me.

[Komaeda might be flushing faintly, at Hinata saying something like that about him. He does try -- and sometimes it's frightening, not really being sure if he's doing the right things, if he can do it.

But it's the best he can do, all he can do. And besides,]

I love you. It's where I want to stick.

[Lifting his head slightly, Hinata gives him a faint, soft smile of gratitude, nuzzling his head against him. Komaeda loves him. He strokes his fingers over Komaeda's arm, tracing up over his shoulder in a gentle motion of his hand.]

I think... I finally feel calmer now.

[From before. Komaeda does that for him, nowadays.]

[Komaeda smiles in response to the expression on Hinata's face. He settles in closer as that hand touches down his arm. It's soothing, okay? Hinata may be calming down, but to a lesser degree, Komaeda is too.

It really was frightening to see Hinata brought home unconscious, worse still when he woke up in the state that he's in.]

I'm glad. [How strange that he can manage that for Hinata. Things really have changed.] But if you were planning on moving, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait. I'm not finished here yet. [He is not letting go. Got it?]

[Hinata laughs faintly and moves, to tuck his face into Komaeda's chest. He closes his eyes. Okay, he gets it, surrendering himself to his boyfriend's embrace right here. His warm embrace.]

I'm not going to move yet. Though I need to eventually-- I've got to make some calls.

[But he can give it a few more minutes.]

[Good. It's best when Hinata doesn't try to protest. Komaeda won't keep him here too long if he's ready to get up and do things -- make his calls, check in and make sure people are all right, share information. He ducks his head to nuzzle into Hinata's hair -- mindful not to poke his eye out on that ahoge.]

Soon then. I won't keep you forever.

[Even if he kind of wants to just now, like somehow he can keep him safe that way.]

[Hinata sighs and strokes his fingers along Komaeda's waist, slim but not skinny like it had been back in Haven. It's nice. There's more of him he can press close to and hug, though he's still of the opinion Komaeda needs to eat lots.

It'll be better for his health if he makes sure to eat, after all.]

You already have me forever, [he murmurs absently.]

[Komaeda thinks it's better too, that he and Hinata are both no longer on the verge of starvation. He worried about Hinata when he he could count his ribs just by looking. See? That's one thing Cerealia still has going for it.

His breath catches when Hinata says that though. And maybe he says it absently, but the words strike so hard. He has him. Forever, huh? There's a stupidly pleased smile on his face right now.]

My Hajime... [His!]

[Hinata snorts softly, moving one of his hands-- he'll just lift his hand to his neck, fingers hooking and pulling out the ring, the mirror of the one he gave to Komaeda.]

This already said that I was yours, you know.

[With a warm, gentle voice.]

[Komaeda unwinds one arm from around Hinata so he can slip a hand between them, fingering over that ring, the match to his own. He likes it, that they both have one -- and he never takes his off his finger.

He nods, quietly pleased.]

It did. It does. Like mine says I'm yours. [A pause before he adds, lightly,] Though I think I said that before the ring too. [For the record.]

[Hinata looks down at him as he touches the ring, his expression soft, but it lightens more into a laugh. That light way of saying that, gosh--] Yeah, a few times. I never knew you'd be the possessive type.

[It's a good thing. Hinata wants him to want more things for himself. Even if one of those happens to be himself.]

I never did either. I suppose it's something you bring out in me.

[Komaeda has never wanted much of anything except to be a part of hope, to do something to fit into that beautiful picture. But that changed, in a way. He still wants hope, still believes in hope, but there's a bigger picture beyond that.

And he's changed, bit by bit, in trying to be a better person than he's been, to understand that there's more than just hope and despair in life. Hinata's taught him that, taught him a great deal. Loved him, and let Komaeda love him in return. So he can't help being possessive. Being with Hinata is... mm. It's important to him.]

Is it a bad thing, Hajime?

No. I'm happy there's something you want.

[His voice is muffled, but sincere, and he nuzzles Komaeda's chest pointedly as if to say that it makes him this happy. Why wouldn't he be? Komaeda wants him so much as to be possessive over him.

His hand slides along his back, tenderly.]

[Oh. He's being nuzzled. Komaeda blinks and feels his cheeks heating. Damn it. Hinata has him blushing again. All this time and he still gets flustered by very little except when Hinata is so genuinely sweet to him.

But... it's really okay if he's possessive? Sometimes he feels guilty for it; someone like him can't possibly deserve anything like this, right? And yet he has it. So very selfish, and he knows it.

But it's hard to mind when those hands rub over his back.] You're probably being too indulgent of my selfishness.

[Hinata exhales a sound like a snort.]

Indulgent of your selfishness... you'd have to be way more selfish first before we could call anything I do indulgent.

[He's really calmed down from a little before. In glancing up, he can only see half of what he should, but the half he can see has Komaeda in it so he manages to relax. For now. For now, it's fine. They'll figure it out. One way or another.]

Is that so? Then maybe I'll start trying harder.

[Teasing. Because Komaeda is relieved that Hinata has calmed down, that he seems to be settling and easing some of that tension and fear from before. He's relieved, okay?

He peeks down at Hinata in turn. They will figure it out, somehow. He leans in and touches a kiss to the other's forehead, just above his eyebrow, over that currently unseeing eye -- like maybe he can fix it so simply, even if that's nonsense, of course.]

[Hinata's eyebrow twitches slightly-- he looks up with his good eye and a wry smile like he knows what Komaeda is doing.]

Go ahead. I think I can handle it. [He strokes his fingers along his back. He doesn't like making him worry or panic, and admittedly he probably doesn't do it as much here as he might have in Haven.]

[Shh. No he's an enigma. A total enigma! But he smiles in response to the one on Hinata's face, pressing another kiss to his forehead now.]

You may regret saying that. Just remember. [But Komaeda is teasing now, soft and light, because after what Hinata's been through, he's just relieved to have him home and safe and calmed enough that he's able to smile again.]

[Hinata thumbs at his back, tracing through fabric the shape of his shoulders, scratching too, just for the sake of scratching.] I don't think that'll happen. But I'll remember.

[And he'll remember to tell him that he's wrong and that he doesn't regret it at all-- he probably could never.]

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