unluckless | ic inbox -- cerealia

You don't have to apologise for that.

[Honestly, he's the more sorry one. He couldn't resist, couldn't do anything, and he feels frustration that boils in him. It shouldn't have been like that. He should have been able to do something. Hadn't he made that decision? That he wouldn't be like that?

However... It was unavoidable, wasn't it? Just like things that would happen in Haven at times, just like the instances here when something went wrong with his body. And he couldn't have just not investigated.]

I'm back now. Sorry for worrying you and making you miss me... And not being able to... [Do anything. Pull himself out of it. He'd said before he'd fight but damn it.]

Edited 2015-01-25 21:35 (UTC)

It wasn't your fault either. [Komaeda has latched onto Hinata now and doesn't plan on letting go. At all. He's here to stay good luck prying him off because it's just not happening at all. Sorry to say. Not for quite a while.

He's well aware it's irrational, but some part of himself is afraid that if he lets Hinata go, he'll go and disappear again. Another shake of his head.]

It's only natural that I worried. That I missed you. I love you, so I think that's the way it's supposed to work.

[He pauses and adds,] But now I'm having a harder time forgiving this place for the things that go on.

[Hinata sighs, slowly, exhaling outward against skin. He shifts enough where he can lay down atop him and also somewhat on the couch, trying not to squish him. His arm tightens briefly around him, his palm sweeping up and down his side fondly.]

I love you too, [he murmurs, gladly, putting his forehead to Komaeda's shoulder.]

I... [He's mad, too. Upset. Still afraid.] ...hate it. I didn't want to be like that again. I never want... [His head ducks down lower, face hidden away, hand clenching and gripping a handful of Komaeda's shirt. It shakes, just faintly.]

[That's perfect. Komaeda feels reassured by the weight resting on him, by how warm Hinata feels when he's this close. Oh he has missed it. And he's missed those words, so much, enough that hearing them has an ache blossoming in his chest -- but it's a pleasant pain somehow, like something is thawing out after a sudden freeze.]

I never want you to either, but... [He lifts a hand to pet at Hinata's hair.] I won't let you stay that way. I'm too selfish for that. I want you to come back to me no matter what, Hajime.

[He's smoothing his fingers over Hinata's hair still, down his back, trying to sooth him now. And he murmurs, because it's the first time he thinks that these words might be comforting coming from someone like him,] It's okay. I'm here.

[His shoulders hunch and he bows his head down further, buries his face into the material of Komaeda's shirt. And it is soothing, his voice over Hinata's head, the fingers smoothing over his hair, even the smell of him in his shirt, the warmth of his body. Everything's still fully sinking in, all of what happened, how he... how he became.

His fingers flex in material and he rubs his face, his cheek, against Komaeda's chest, a little grateful nuzzle. Appreciative. He's glad he's here. He's always glad.]

Mm. And I'm here, too. [He tightens his arms around him again, presses one palm close to Komaeda's back, feeling for the thump of his heart.]

You are. I'm happy. [For the first time since this whole mess started. He continues petting gently over his hair and his shoulders now, just touching because he can. It's very strange, really. Hinata's body has been here, Kamukura has been here, but it hasn't been the same.

Hinata is here now, his Hinata. His Hajime. That hand at his back has him pulling himself all the closer to Hinata now, holding all the tighter. His eyes are shut as he nuzzles into dark hair once more, pressing a kiss there.]

So stay close for a while, okay?

[Hinata smiles as his hair is kissed, nuzzling against Komaeda's collarbone in response and not answering at first. He's busy trying to map out the shape of his back, spreading his fingers and trailing up his spine, feeling over the outlines of his shoulder blades.]

'Course. Here, move just a little, I'm gonna...

[He's definitely going to squish him, he thinks, so moves to lever an arm under Komaeda, shifting more on his side, somewhat on the couch so he can plunk his cheek against his shoulder and shut his eyes contentedly.]

[Hinata can keep doing that as much as he likes. Komaeda squirms beneath the touch, pleased by it really, by anything that means Hinata is here and close and himself again.]

Mm?

[Move? For a moment he starts to protest, but then it turns out the other isn't going far, so he settles down and shifts to make it easier for Hinata. Oooh there. That's nice too.] Comfortable, Hajime?

[Hinata grunts an affirmative, rubbing his cheek affectionately against Komaeda's shoulder, nuzzling at him contentedly.] Comfortable. You? [His fingers draw, trace patterns down over Komaeda's chest, swirls and circles and playful hearts even.

His leg has hooked in-between Komaeda's, ankle rubbing affectionately down his calf.]

You've been sleeping out here the last few nights, haven't you?

[Komaeda is just going to very greedily soak up all the nuzzling, all the closeness. He glances down enough to watch those fingers as they move over his chest. It's a sweet gesture, and he realizes that those are dumb little hearts he's drawing, and it makes something warm rush through him.

The question draws his attention though and he exhales a sheepish laugh.]

I've fallen asleep out here, mm. [Yeah he totally slept out here on purpose. It's been strange -- Kamukura being in charge of Hinata's body, the fact that Komaeda can't quite separate his feelings for Hinata from Kamukura and. Well. There's no cuddling with Kamukura, and he's gotten used to that.]

[Hinata shifts his head to prop his chin on Komaeda's chest, eyebrows lifting slightly as though to say only fallen asleep? because he thinks that he knows better. Placing one palm on the couch, he lifts himself slightly over him and kisses his head.]

Then c'mon. Go into bed. I'll make some breakfast for you.

[Breakfast in bed!]

[Komaeda's eyes fall shut as that sweet kiss lands at his head. This is the Hinata he's missed, sweet and warm and familiar. But as the other man speaks, his arms lift to wrap around him, tightly.

Nooo he doesn't want to let Hinata out of his sight that long. More than breakfast in bed, he wants Hinata in bed.]

I'll help. [He wants to stay with him. Attach to Hinata and not let go for a while.]

[Hinata blinks. Oh. Caught. He should have known, he supposed, as he leans against the arms around him slightly. He doesn't try to break them off, not having the heart for it nor really wanting to, and shifts one of his hands to touch Komaeda's face.]

Oi, oi, I'm saying this 'cause I want to do it on my own, for you...

[He sighs softly.]

[Komaeda smiles when Hinata doesn't go trying to get out of his arms. He turns into that touch at his face, nuzzling at his hands, eyes closed to bask in the touch, the warmth of it.

His eyes open so he can peek up at him now and for a moment he watches him in silence.]

I don't want to be alone. [It's not really Komaeda's usual to complain especially when Hinata wants to do something sweet for him like breakfast in bed. Really, it's not like Komaeda to be so blunt about what he wants in general.]

[And it's surprising enough that it stops Hinata right in his tracks, frozen in place as he just looks at Komaeda. He blinks a few more times, watching Komaeda nuzzle him, and then he cups his palm at his cheek again, turning his face toward Hinata's so that he can kiss him.

Smiling slightly against his lips, he mumbles:] Okay, I got it, I won't let you be alone. Let's make something together and then... go to bed and eat it together?

[Like he'd refuse when it's so rare for Komaeda to say so clearly what he wants. If he starts to say more about what he wants, then... can Hinata believe he's placing those desires higher, thinking more of himself?]

Edited 2015-02-03 00:49 (UTC)

[Komaeda doesn't fight the turning, looking to Hinata and meeting that kiss with a soft, contented hum. He can feel Hinata smiling, and that's gorgeous, more so than it has nay right to be whatsoever.]

That sounds really nice.

[He's pretty grateful for it actually, that Hinata is willing to let him be as clingy as he's feeling right now. He's missed him, okay? And now Hinata is back and himself, and relief is still running high through him. And besides, it'll be better than cooking with "I know how to make the eggs better" Kamukura. ...who did indeed know how to make the eggs better. So.]

[Hinata looks fondly at him, shifting to slide off of Komaeda, though his hands catch at his as though about to pull him up after him.] Mind being my assistant? No, sous chef is the term, yeah?

[Using the terminology brings Hanamura to mind, but it's in a fond way, so he doesn't mind it. As it is, he just wants to see Komaeda smile, see some of the weight from the last few days lifted from him. Ahh-- But he's okay, isn't he? Hinata had worried before about various things, not the least of which being whether or not he ought to burden Komaeda so much.]

I... I'm really glad I'm back, [he ends up saying, quieter.]

[Komaeda curls his fingers around Hinata's now, moving to sit up and then rise to his feet as well. He ducks his head in a nod now.] That's the right term. I'll do my best!

But you might want to supervise me pretty closely...

[He warns Hinata with a smile. And really, nothing Hinata could do could burden Komaeda. Being around him makes him a stronger person. Even if he worried about him, even if everything that's happened was difficult, they're here. And he wants to be strong enough to help Hinata now too.]

I am too. Really glad. I knew you would be though... you're way too stubborn to give up, after all. [And part of Hinata had been here, in Kamukura. The memory of that kiss is still quite vivid in his mind.]

[Hinata's lips quirk up, pleased. Komaeda believes in him, huh. He really does. It's not as though it's something Hinata doubts, but it's still nice to hear it once in a while, feel that warming him through his whole body. So he nods.]

That's right. There's no way in hell I'd give up.

[He reaches out to him, moving to catch him by the hand, give him a gentle tug, tugging him toward the kitchen.] Especially not when I have you here waiting for me...and ready to smack me if I even think about giving up.

Edited 2015-02-03 02:20 (UTC)

[No way in hell. That's his Hinata. Komaeda looks pleased at that answer, like it's something he was waiting to hear, something that is reassuring enough that as he's taken by the hand, he exhales a quiet laugh, following along.]

That's right. I've been practicing my smacking too.

[Because he is a dedicated guy, okay? That's how he rolls.] Though I didn't get a chance to put it to use this time.

[Since Hinata hadn't lost himself, he'd been lost by CERES. Deliberately. A quiet moment, and he adds,] He's different than he used to be, you know.

[Hinata blushes slightly. He doesn't know why. Something about Komaeda's pleased look, and a bit of late embarrassment at his own words. But he tips his head until he can push a kiss against Komaeda's cheek before turning to lead the way to the kitchen.

His steps slow just slightly, just for a moment at the words.] Aa... Kamukura?

[His free hand slides over his hair absently.] Yeah. I think you're right.

[Komaeda shuts one eye at the kiss, a quiet exhale of a laugh before he follows along after Hinata, towards the kitchen. Breakfast! Not that it matters what they do so long as he can stay close to the other man for now.

It's reassuring.

He slows as well, nodding at the question.] You've rubbed off on him.

[A little. And only a little, but still any change at all in Kamukura is remarkable. Komaeda doesn't know what it means, but it's interesting. And he's hopeful. Somehow. And also,] He kissed me.

[That brings a more complicated welling of emotions. Kissed him... Kamukura, huh. But, well, it's not like he can be jealous of himself, though he is somewhat interested. Oi, did you?

...

Except, Hinata remembers, a bit. Good, he didn't bite Komaeda or anything.] I... guess he really is becoming more like me after all. No, maybe we're just not as separate anymore. [And so he can't feel particularly envious or bad-natured feelings, just kind of a bemused amazement and also appreciation that even though Hinata wasn't here, he wasn't completely gone.] Did it bother you?

[Not even a little biting. Komaeda isn't sure whether or not that should be surprising. He nods at Hinata's observation. That sounds right to him, though he's only an observer. Hinata would know, with that other self inside him.

Sometimes it frightens him, makes him worry for the other man. But Hinata is stronger than he would have imagined, stronger than he ever would have guessed in that time so long ago, on that island.

The question has a smile rising on his features, subdued and quiet, but genuine still. Not a mask, not subterfuge. Hinata sees through that anyway.] No. The way it is now, Kamukura is a piece of you.

[A piece, but still a piece of Hinata.] ...not my favorite piece though. [Just. For the record.]

[Hinata laughs at that, little more than a voiced exhale, and he lifts his eyebrow at Komaeda.] Aa, well, he's not my favourite, either. But I think that he'll look out for you like I will. Just in a slightly different way. So I'm not as nervous as I used to be.

[His lips curve, settling into a satisfied smile, and he pulls Komaeda into the kitchen, leaving him in order to go over to the fridge, starting to pull out ingredients for breakfast.]

I'm still counting on you to smack me if I need it, though.

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