unluckless | ic inbox -- cerealia

[Good. Melt, heart! Komaeda isn't intentionally trying, but it seems like a good side effect anyway. Right now he just wants to be close to him, wants to lay here where he can feel the rise and fall of his chest, feel the warmth of the other's body against his.]

Are there? That's--

[He may have been about to say something like "that's surprising with someone like me" but instead he's distracted from it by the fact that his ponytail just got batted around. He blinks in confusion a moment before dissolving into giggles.] Are you having fun?

[Hinata feels his face heating up further and he makes an embarrassed, half-strangled sound in his throat, as though just realising what he's doing. He only pulls back his hand for a moment before it returns, fingers tentatively framing to either side of the ponytail.]

A little, [vaguely sulkily, but shh.]

I don't see your hair up that much.

[Komaeda just laughs quietly, nuzzling against his neck again gently. There, that's what he wants. Even if Hinata is sulking. But eventually he lifts his head to peek back down at him, trying not to dislodge those fingers.]

Mm... it doesn't really do much good pulling it up. Most of it gets free anyway.

[Right? His hair is a disaster and always has been.] Does it look strange?

No, it's...cute.

[Hinata manages to say it after a moment, distracted by the nuzzling and having Komaeda's pale eyes on him. His other hand shifts up too to the back of his head, pulling his hair from the ponytail. He combs his fingers through it a few times before retying it.

A little firmer, but... Hinata cranes his neck slightly to peer.] It really does start getting free again pretty fast.

Cute?

[Really? Is it? Aww. Komaeda smiles, entirely pleased to hear this. Hinata thinks his hair is cute. And then the ponytail is gone and his eyes go half-lidded as Hinata runs his fingers through it.

What? He enjoys the attention.

Then it's reponytailed and he lifts a hand up to touch at the ponytail, laughing sheepishly.] It does. You could say it's a little wild.

[Hinata laughs quietly too, batting at the ponytail again with his fingers as his gaze roams over Komaeda's face.]

Your hair's been like that for a while. If it was longer, maybe it'd be easier to tie back, though... or maybe with some gel and stuff like that...

[He looks thoughtful, though his hand's moved to his cheek now, thumbing at skin.]

[Komaeda just laughs as Hinata goes back to batting his ponytail. Is it a toy? It might be a toy. That's fine though, and his expression softens into a smile, near to bursting with affection.

he's turning into that touch as the words register.] Gel? Do you think that would look better?

[Komaeda will give it a try! If Hinata thinks he ought to. OR maybe just to experiment. Why not?]

Hmm... I dunno.

[He tries to picture it, Komaeda with his hair all slicked back and tied... he can't. Maybe it's because he's too used to his messy, flyaway hair? Maybe with a straightener... Hinata looks thoughtful.]

But it might be fun to see, one of these days. What do you think?

[It would take pretty impressive combinations of effort and product but it totally could be done. And now it's in Komaeda's head that he wants to try it to see what Hinata thinks about it. ...what? Sometimes he likes dressing up for his boyfriend.]

It might be. I think I'll have to try it. Though I can't really say how it will come out.

[Could be a total disaster. Could be amazing. Depends which way his luck is blowing.]

[Hinata chuckles.] If it comes out bad... we'll just laugh about it together. [It'll be fun, or something like that. He pulls him down closer, to snuggle that body further down against his, his palms combing through that hair of his that isn't pulled back.]

I'll help you with it. Too bad we can't really do anything with my hair, huh?

Ah... somehow that sounds nice even if it ends in failure then. How strange.

[He's so good at failure, but it's never been terribly enjoyable. But laughing about it together with Hinata sounds great actually. So he smiles now, nodding, eager now, even as he snuggles up against him.]

With Hajime's help, I'm sure it'll turn out anyway.

[He lifts a hand to run through Hinata's hair, mussing it up as he hums thoughtfully.] Maybe a little bow. [On his ahoge. Fool proof!]

...I think that I'll have to pass on the bow.

[JUST SAYING. That'd be too silly for him, and with his ahoge. He does like feeling Komaeda's hand going through his hair, though, so gladly tips his head into it with an encouraging hum.

Pls keep petting, yes.]

Oh? Too bad. It would be pretty fancy on you.

[He'll stop teasing about bows though. Because he has noticed the way Hinata tips his head, and it has him all too happy to keep it up, to run his fingers through that hair again and again. He likes the way it feels anyway, with soft strands slipping through his fingers.

He likes having the excuse to touch him for whatever reason it is.] But maybe Hajime looking like Hajime is best after all. Mm. I'm sure that's right.

If I get a bow, then you get one. Or a bunch. For each bunch of hair.

[Hinata looks at him playfully, tugging at some of his hair lightly with his fingers. Though, his cheeks do redden at the words. Compliment... He's being complimented. And his head lolls back, chest heaving with a soft sigh.

And he says, pensive,] You really like how I look, huh? [It's kind of a rhetorical question, but still a question. He's so plain, Komaeda!!]

That might be too many bows.

[Oh hey his hair! Tugging on it. IT's attached you know? Except it's attention, and Komaeda is far too happy with any attention from Hinata, and the tugging is light and playful and actually feels quite nice. So he won't even fuss.

Besides, he's distracted by that question.

He blinks and lifts his head to look at Hinata with a genuinely perplexed look on his face.] Hajime? Do you really not know? You're really gorgeous. [Komaeda thinks so! Knows so!]

[Hinata is looking back with just as much of a perplexed face, blinking at him. His cheeks slowly colour as Komaeda calls him gorgeous, of all things, and his gaze (same colour as his cheeks now) drops to the side.]

You, er... I'm... am I?

[It sounds like such a feeble, shy question...]

[All this blushing. An embarrassment of riches really. Komaeda smiles to himself, expression soft, nearly painfully full of affection. He settles a hand against Hinata's cheek, thumb tracing along his cheekbone.]

Of course you are. I'm surprised you didn't realize it.

[Though his brow furrows now and he adds, thoughtfully, playfully.] Though now that I've told you, I wonder if I've made a serious mistake.a [Has he created a monster?]

[Hinata's eyelids flutter slightly, his head turning slightly into the slide of Komaeda's warm thumb...] Serious mistake? [He blinks open his eyes proper, peering (a bit embarrassed still) at Komaeda.]

Do I seem that egotistical?

[He slides his hands down to his sides, fingers wriggling veeery slightly.]

Wellll....

[Komaeda hedges, but there's a giggle in his voice half because he is teasing and those fingers are on the verge of ticklish, and he squirms now.] Actually, you could probably get away with having a little more ego than you do. After all, even I've decided you're pretty amazing by now.

[Despite everything. His boyfriend is somehow a good person who keeps trying to be better and considering what he's come through, that's made it all the more remarkable.]

[Hinata's lips twitch in a telling giveaway-- but no, he is strong! He won't start grinning like an idiot! Probably! Okay, he's getting awfully close, but he's drawing a breath and leaning up close to kiss one corner of his lips, then the other.]

That's... pretty big, coming from you, Nagito.

[He seems shy, grateful... a lot of things.]

[Komaeda can tell that grin is in there anyway, Hinata. Don't go and pretend otherwise. But Komaeda's expression softens into a smile, and he nods. It is big coming from him.]

Mm... it is, I think. I'm still paying attention you know, but...

[He leans in and nuzzles against Hinata's cheek, half to hide his own expression now.] I think... I think you won't let me down. [He really believes that. A lot.]

[Hinata turns his head slightly into the nuzzling, his sigh brushing to Komaeda's ear. His hand comes up, sliding along Komaeda's cheek that he can't see from this angle, up into his hair, fingers ruffling lightly.]

I won't. But... you still don't have to take my word for it. All you gotta do is watch, and see for yourself.

[He closes his eyes, exhaling softly.]

I'll watch. Because I have to. Because I have to watch myself too. I know what we are, what we've done. I have to watch. But it's strange, really. But now I want to watch too. Because I want to see. It's exciting somehow. [thrilling and frightening and often overwhelming. Sometimes he considers that just placing all his faith in hope was easier, more certain. But that's not quite right. It all became a mess, and this, uncertain and challenging and overwhelming as it is to believe in Hinata and the others and hardest of all himself, it's the better road. There's more hope in it somehow, even if it's a different sort.

His eyes fall shut and he doesn't move away from where he's tucked his face, even as those fingers run through his hair.] It's warmer too. [Existing in this way, allowing himself to be close to someone, to be a part of it instead of a stepping stone along someone else's path.]

[Hinata hums, smiling, his fingers stroking the nape of Komaeda's neck tenderly.] Maybe that's because... even if you're watching me, and yourself, we're still going forward together.

It's part of your future too.

[He hugs him around the neck, then relaxes his hold, going back to petting him.]

[Komaeda smiles as he's hugged, eyes shut, just enjoying the closeness and security of the moment. He doesn't speak the darker thoughts that come to mind, that come to mind so often and get pushed away as quickly and completely as he can: that he doesn't know what future he really has. It's remarkable in a way that he's still here -- a stroke of luck that the disease inside him hasn't taken hold more strongly. It's always been frightening to think about Ina way, but it's more so now, when he really actually wants a future, wants to live on.

But thinking about it is too much sometimes. So instead he tries to put it aside, appreciate the moment.] Mm! Together with Hajime. And the others too.

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